Tearful days

For the last few days.... well since Friday really, I have been rather on edge, ratty and rather frayed around the edges. In fact... a lot.

Iv'e not been able to sleep properly. Everything, everyone and anything has been making me angry and irritable. I have been bursting into tears for no reason  and Iv'e been really snapping back at hubby.
I'm not sure if its due to the sudden change in the weather, the pressure that has built due to caring for hubby, having to scrimp every penny together just to pay the bills and feed my family. The doctors incompetence of diagnosing and referring hubby onto the right boards for a proper diagnosis. Or if its a whole combination of these. I did take a pregnancy test, but that was negative. So if it is my hormones, then I don't quite understand why. But I so pose that the joys of being a woman!

Anyway it came to a bit of a head this evening. While I was preparing dinner, the cats came into me and staring making a noise for there tea. Hubby had been pottering in and out of the kitchen, chatting. But I had found it hard to engage in proper conversation. The one of the cats then let out this 'feed meeee' meow and I just flipped and screamed " SHUT UP". Hubby then rather forcefully spanked me, to which I chucked the fork I was holding and ran into our bedroom in a flood of tears, shutting the door behind me and falling onto the bed. It took a few minutes, but hubby came and joined me on the bed, scooped me up and hugged me for so long and tight. I cried for what seemed like an age, but was only a short time. I did feel better for it, but I'm still feeling like I just want to attack the world any anyone who threatens our family.


Maybe I need a good de-stress spanking, to let it all out, but I'm unsure how much my emotions can fully take. If hubby decides that it will happen, but I don't think Iv'e got the strength to ask....